Why will I be nervous in the pub tonight? Why won’t I chat-up women? What, precisely, do I fear? For a start, it’s not physical violence which I fear. It almost certainly wouldn’t happen. And even if it did, it isn’t that which I fear anyway. I’ll place myself, mentally, in a pub. What happens? The first thing that happens is not a thought, it is something physical. My heart starts to beat and my chest contracts. This must mean that my physiology is calling the shots, not what I think. Or, at least, my thoughts may be part of the overall picture. Thoughts determine my physiology in the long run, but they don’t in this situation. So the chest contraction, etc. tells me, as it were, that something’s wrong. And, in any case, nothing has actually happened. Indeed, these sorts of physiological symptoms would occur both before the pub and in an empty pub. If you can call physiological reactions ‘irrational’, then they are indeed irrational. They are not reactions or responses to anything real or actual. So they must be reactions to possibilities. Things which may or could happen. What bad things have happened in similar situations? The last physical fight in a pub was… I can’t remember. The last psychological fight was well over a year ago. So I’m too prepared or over-prepared for a psychological or physical attack. Why am I over-prepared for such eventualities? Perhaps a long time ago I was indeed frequently psychologically and physically attacked. Yes, I was. But this was a long time ago. However, my physiology of that period is still with me today. In many respects I’m a different person now. But beneath that different person is the same physiology and the same physiological responses. What can I do about this? Firstly, I must be aware of the truth. I am aware of the truth about this. However, it is hard to de-condition myself so I will have to repeatedly de-condition myself. I know that! As soon as my physiology changes I need to say to myself: These changes are irrational. They are not responses or reactions to real physical or psychological threats. They are a product of childhood conditioning. No matter how real the changes themselves are, and they are real, they are not justified – they are irrational. The question is: Can my mind control my physiology? [See ‘bio-feedback’] Well, it must have some degree of control because I am better now than at any point in my life. However, this may be long-term change. What about mind control on the spot, as it were? The mind must react back to the physiology even though the physiology was the ‘first cause’. For instance, why would I be slightly less on-guard say ten minutes later? My mind must have reined back my physiology. The more convinced I am of the irrationality of my physical changes the sooner the changes will settle down. Clearly, if I’m not convinced of this, then this will not happen. I need to have faith in my cognitive responses to my physiology. But this is a ‘faith’ based on the truths of the matter. It is not based on lies about myself.
